Your ED Questions, Answered

My favorite blogger, Caralyn of BeautyBeyondBones, posted a fantastic entry last night; she had been prompted by the idea of answering people’s questions about Eating Disorders. Last night she answered those questions by category, and I found it to be a great perspective on dealing with ED’s. If you have an ED and are looking for some perspective from someone who has been there and back, here it is.

Even more frustrating is knowing someone with an Eating Disorder and not having the faintest idea of how to talk to them, HELP them. Caralyn gives a lot of great information from the perspective of someone who, at 78 pounds, almost died her first night at in-patient. She knows whereof she speaks!

She goes to lengths to point out that she is not a clinician, which is an important note, but her voice is authentic, and her perspective is a rare one from someone who sank so low and made it back to health.

She doesn’t like to brag, so I’ll have to do it for her: she was recently named one of the 25 top bloggers on the entire worldwide web dealing with anorexia.

So please read, or listen to her podcast at

God bless!


I want to start out by saying something.

I nearly couldn’t go through with this post, because I felt, almost, phony answering these questions. Because the fact is, no recovery is perfect. There are things that I am still working on. There are things that I still can struggle with from time to time.

Recovery is a journey, and I don’t want to put on some false pretense that I’m some guru or some Oz-like short guy with a Napoleon complex, flashing smoke and mirrors behind a velvet curtain.


Additionally, I’m not a doctor/therapist/dietician…I have no credentials other than a certified procrastinator, so please, my answers are just from the view point of a young woman, who battled a severe case of anorexia, and is now living abundantly in freedom.

That being said, I want to thank you all for the outpouring of love and feedback and questions since last…

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Pirates of the Sacred Spiral, Part 17

DNA Pirates Cover[The Tower of Babel ] Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar.    Genesis 11 [Full Chapter]

Diversity. That’s what keeps new ideas coming and what keeps independent thought alive.  Fewer, smaller populations mean more and diverse leaders of those populations.  Inside that system –

Tower of Babel

Reputed Ruins of the Tower

which God began at the Tower of Babel – it is nearly impossible to coordinate the actions let alone the thoughts of a large group of people.  There are too many competing leaders and too many different ideas.


If, however, you have fewer, yet much larger populations, you have fewer leaders who must work in harmony to feed their ideas and ideals to that populace. When the Carnegies and Rockefellers gathered the strands of DNA research into their controlling hands, they controlled what we know of DNA.

Lest you forget, we learned in Part 8 how they planned to control the entire educational system of America. The Carnegies would control education oriented to international topics with the Rockefellers taking control of domestic topics.  Their plot was uncovered by no less an institution than the US Congress in 1954.

Norman Dodd, who led the research that uncovered this information found one particularly damning statement in the Carnegie Foundation archives:

“The only way to maintain control of the population was to obtain control of the education in the US. They realized this was a prodigious task so they approached the Rockefeller Foundation with the suggestion that they go in tandem and that the portion of education which could be considered as domestically oriented be taken over by the Rockefeller Foundation and that portion which was oriented to International matters be taken over by the Carnegie Endowment.”  Page 75

Socialist State How-ToIf you look at the present state of education in America, you’ll quickly realize that their efforts simply continued more covertly. We are among the less educated societies in the world today so far as the general populace goes.  What do you know of DNA?  It governs cell reproduction, right?  That is the smaller part of its overall function.  This was known by the researchers but kept covered up.  Fortunately, there are intelligent people beyond their grasp who started figuring out things too.

Blank M1 and Goodman R. of 1Department of Physiology, Columbia University, New York wrote an abstract for the US National Library of Medicine entitled DNA is a Fractal Antenna in Electromagnetic Fields. From their abstract:


EMF interactions with DNA are similar over a range of non-ionising frequencies, i.e., extremely low frequency (ELF) and radio frequency (RF) ranges. There are similar effects in the ionising range, but the reactions are more complex.


The wide frequency range of interaction with EMF is the functional characteristic of a fractal antenna, and DNA appears to possess the two structural characteristics of fractal antennas, electronic conduction and self symmetry. These properties contribute to greater reactivity of DNA with EMF in the environment, and the DNA damage could account for increases in cancer epidemiology, as well as variations in the rate of chemical evolution in early geologic history.”

Why would God create our DNA to be a transmitter/receiver? Remember that everything in the universe vibrates, us included.  Many of these vibrations have a positive, controlling effect on regulating our bodily and mental functions.  Two simplistic examples discussed much earlier in this series involve the different spectrums of light prevalent in the morning and evening.  The morning light hits our DNA antennae to tell it to wake us up.  The evening light does the opposite.

UniverseYou see, God didn’t just create the world, indeed the universe around us, as a holding tank to dump us into. This world isn’t just here for us to walk around on.  It’s specifically designed to “communicate” the rhythms to us and support our lives (I don’t intend to convey the earth is alive as a conscious entity).  As Dr. Horowitz stated so well in the introduction…

“In short, your DNA is both a crystal receiver and harmonic player developed to perform symphonies transmitted by a Divine orchestra.” Pg 8.

All of that to get us to this quotation at the start of Chapter Nine, page 242 in DNA: Pirates of the Sacred Spiral.

“As our global culture progressed, so too did the oligarchs in the “ruling class.” They developed many new ways to manage subservient populations…

“Webster’s New World Dictionary (Third College Edition, 1988) describes an oligarchy as “a form of government in which the ruling power belongs to a few persons; a state governed this way; the person ruling such as state.”  The root prefix of oligo– comes from the Greek oligos: small, akin to loigos: destruction, death; and (o)leig-: wretched, illness; and from the Lithuanian lig’a: disease.

“…it has amazed us (the authors) that leading academicians, scientists, and healthcare providers, have remained generally ignorant of the widespread influence wielded by the Anglo-American banking, industrial, and academic/institutional elite… Through their foundations and allied institutions, the world’s wealthiest families have asserted direction over the fields of public health, medicine, pharmaceuticals, and genetics for almost a century.  Meanwhile, the virtual army of health professionals – people who, mostly for the love of humanity, endured years of dehumanizing indoctrination called ‘medical education’…remain politically unwitting.”  Pg. 242

And all of this time you and I thought we lived under a beneficent, democratically-elected republic!

Next: Examples of control and propaganda.

The Exploitation By “To The Bone”

This is an issue that screams for proper handling and care. Please take the time to 1) Read this entire article and 2) Re-blog it yourself, send people email links to it…whatever. These NetFlix productions cannot be rewarded in the marketplace. If you really want to know about anorexia and “starting a dialogue,” pay attention to someone who is officially one of the most highly regarded bloggers in the world when it comes to anorexia: BeautyBeyondBones


Before tonight’s zinger..which…I’m fired up tonight, so get ready….

Eating dis transparent_1000px

But first, I have some incredibly exciting news to share.

I just found out that BeautyBeyondBones was ranked in the Top 25 Eating Disorder Recovery Websites on the World Wide Web!

So thank you with all my heart for taking the time out of your busy lives to read my words.

OK…now onto tonight’s main event.

As you know, I was utterly disgusted at Netflix for their irresponsible and harmful depiction of teenage suicide in “13 Reasons Why.


You’d think they’d have learned their lesson after the backlash by the public, and several tragic copy-cat teenage suicides post-airing. But no.

In fact, they’ve done it again….

And this time…it’s about anorexia.

The movie is called To The Bone” and it is being released on July 14.

They just premiered the trailer.

I watched it.


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Kyrie Eleison!

And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”    Exodus 33:19

Kyrie Eleison is Greek for “Lord, Have Mercy.” There are 19 places in the entire Bible where this phrase or a version of it is used.  We can approach our Father God with this prayer, confident He will hear us and have mercy.  He gave us His word on that in Moses’ Book of the Exodus.

Mr Mister Cover


It’s also the title of a hit song from the 80’s by a group called “Mr. Mister.” I hadn’t thought of it in a long time.  I recently, and randomly, thought of it and started wondering just what all of the lyrics are.  YouTube is the best place to find just about anything in video, and sure enough, there was the official studio video, official live video at the Ritz in New York City, and several other postings by fans.


Reading the lyrics as I listened, I was struck by just how beautiful those lyrics are and just how accurate they are. For those of you who already know the song, please indulge me.  For those who have never heard it before, here’s my “primer” on it for you:

The wind blows hard against this mountain side / Across the sea into my soul / It reaches into where I cannot hide / Setting my feet upon the road

The wind? That’s the Holy Spirit, who brings us to faith in God.  He doesn’t always get through to us easily, but He doesn’t give up, even though He blows against the hardened side of our mountain barrier.

He will show each of us who we really are, what we need forgiveness from. There are no secret sins when the Holy Ghost comes to us.  But once those skeletons in our closet are dealt with, well, that is just the beginning of a new life on a new road.  The new road is one where we act better than we have before knowing God.  It’s a road with purpose in charity to others.

My heart is old it holds my memories / My body burns a gem-like flame / Somewhere between the soul and soft machine / Is where I find myself again

You can have an old heart regardless of your years. Maybe sin has weighed you down, wrinkled your soul with grief and guilt.  But, just as the Holy Spirit manifested to the original apostles as tongues of flame over each one’s head, so our souls catch flame in the purifying love of God, thanks to Jesus’ saving sacrifice.  There is more than one way to look at this line, neither of which excludes the other.

  • Fire is often used as a symbol of purification. The Bible uses this analogy several times.
  • Fire also produces light. Once we have accepted the faith, grace, and mercy of God, we become a light to all around us.

Having God’s forgiveness does not mean we will lead perfect and carefree lives. Jesus warns all followers of all times that He was persecuted by the world, so we should expect no less.  People will bully and abuse us, and Satan will continue to tempt us away from God, if possible.  Our souls yearn for God, but our bodies, those soft machines, are not firm against sin.  They are not solid against death.

We exist somewhere in between our soul and soft machine as the spiritual pulls us toward God and our desire to be perfect as He would have us be, and the body pulls us toward sin, where Satan wants to destroy us. That is where we live and struggle to resist falling away from God.

When I was young I thought of growing old / Of what my life would mean to me

We always wonder when young what the future will bring. We usually dream of success in marriage, family, and career/money


Farther down their chosen road…

Would I have followed down my chosen road / Or only wished what I could be


Now that I’m old, now that my choices have been made, can I look back and say I’m glad of my life? Or am I grieved over a life wasted?  Am I on the right road or have I blown it?

*CHORUS* – Kyrie Eleison Down the road that I must travel Kyrie Eleison Through the darkness of the night Kyrie Eleison Where I’m going will you follow Kyrie Eleison On a highway in the night

Faint on tthe RoadWe all have regrets, either over the road we’ve chosen or over some of the – lane changes? – while on our road. Even the best of lives contain sin and the resulting regrets.  All we can do is to cry out, “Lord have mercy!”  And it’s never too late to change roads!!

But here’s the real trick. We don’t just cry out in regret, but also in hope!  Prayer and God’s strength are a preventative and not just a cure!  We cry out for His mercy and protection as we move along the road that we must certainly travel, whether due to our own bad choices or simply the trials of being on the right road toward God.  Even in the darkness of this world we can call out for His light and be guided.  And it is definitely dark; much darker than most of us suspect, I fear.Hughway to a Storm

Finally, Jesus asks us if we are willing to follow where He goes on the highway in this current night. Hopefully, prayerfully, I trust we will respond –


Read more: Mr. Mister – Kyrie Eleison Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Watch the concert video on YouTube.

leisure-suitFor those who remember this song, I hope your enjoyed this walk down memory lane. For the youngsters, what can I say?  Enjoy the song!  And don’t hold leisure suits against the entire decade, ok?


Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.    Psalm 90:10

Old ManToday is my birthday. In previous years I could keep telling myself that 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30, etc.  Now that I’m here, 60 is just 60.  My doc put the fear in me over my current state of health, which is tough, because even after my double bypass I got back into cardio and weights.  Then a layoff and more major surgery.  The wheels have sort of come off.  With my scars I could get body double work on the next Frankenstein movie!

I know; there’s someone out there older than I thinking I’m stupid; 60 isn’t THAT old.

Yeah? Well, it’s the oldest I’ve ever been, so bear with me.

Honda 650 CB

’79 Honda 650CB

I remember having a motorcycle in my 20’s. I was visiting some church friends and there was this old guy there (62) who was admiring my ride.  I ended up talking him into going for a spin.  It was just a slow roll through the neighborhood, but when he got off you’d think he’d just done a jump with ol’ Knievel on the Vegas strip.


I know I can still hop on one and scream down the road. I don’t have one, because, well, have you seen how people drive these days?!?


The VTX 1800 I had till 2008

Fortunately, my mind feels a lot younger than my body. I still have the occasional “What IS it with kids these days??” moments, but it’s true.  When people tell me they don’t think I’m that old, I sometimes think they’re making a maturity comment.  Hey, I’ll take what I can get.


God has seen fit to open my eyes to a lot of things that I never knew about the Bible, history, and prophecy. There haven’t been any mystical revelations other than me continuing to stumble into resources that have taught me a ton!

I’ve been putting together a Sunday morning series, Creation to Completion, Genesis through Revelation, to portray the arc of history and on through prophecy.

Then the youth leader took a trip to Haiti with some of the youth, and he asked me to teach his class the last two Sundays for those that didn’t go. It was very short notice; the Thursday before!  So I figured I’d give C to C a trial run.

The kids have really gotten into it, and I pitched Chris on letting me continue it indefinitely. I hope and pray he says yes!  I’ve gotten excited, they’re excited, and I’m teaching them stuff that I wish I had known somewhere well before 60!

The thing is, while the body is winding down, I feel like my spiritual life is gearing up. I don’t feel old when I’m with these kids.  I get excited to give them a better start in really knowing God’s Word past the familiar Bible stories.

So here’s to 60. I could be wrong – I often am! – but I feel like God’s going to keep the ol’ machine sputtering along for a bit longer.  It might take some supernatural duct tape and super glue, but it seems I still have work to do; work that I’m really juiced about!!


Pay it forward!!

What Do You Know?

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.    James 1:17

NikitaI ‘ve been watching an action/spy/thriller series. Twists and turns and surprising new information from one character to another keep the thing interesting and moving along.

“Didn’t she tell you she was the one who…KILLED YOUR FATHER?!?”

Dum, dum, duuuummmmmmm!

Was it the truth or a lie? Both the character and I are cast adrift on a foreign landscape and only because we didn’t know a truth.  Or we were lied to.

I’ve experienced this in life also. I thought I knew things, but then heard the rest of the story.  Certain ideals have been shattered, decisions regretted, and allegiances up in smoke.

I’ve been battling heat disease for decades. Originally, salt is bad.  Eggs are bad.  Fatty meat is bad.  Bacon is bad (oh, the horror!).baconloversday

Now? Salt is good; I’ll need it for the water weight my new diet is going to shrink a lot.  Eggs, meat, and other natural fats – including dairy – are all good.  They help with brain function.

Warm roles at the steakhouse with honey butter are still bad, but everything else has flipped, so why not that eventually?

Drug BottlesMy drugs. I donated a lot of blood through the years until the drugs started.  Now I’m a walking pharmacy.  If you have run out of your own heart and blood pressure meds for a few days, well, stretch that arm out, and let me give you a transfusion.

The statin I was taking for years almost killed me in 2012. The new one has been shown to have zero effect on preventing heart attacks in cardiac patients.  My Niacin pills?  Over-priced.  I can get the same niacin supplement at Amazon for a fraction of the cost.  Blood pressure?  Someone goofed there too.

So thank God my GP found those spots on my thyroid during my yearly physical recently. He referred me to an endocrinologist, who does a complete drug review and puts the fear of God in me regarding my current state of health.  But that’s a good thing, right?  Without the spotty thyroid, I wouldn’t have gotten these corrections from a specialist. “All things work together for good for them that love God.”

And the thyroid spots? No problem.  They’re very small right now, not even warranting a biopsy.  I go back in 6 months to see if they have changed at all.  There’s only a 10% chance they’ll ever develop cancer.  And if they do, the success rate is 95%.

Prescription-Medication-Side-Effects-T-ShirtStill, I was pretty well in the dumps after the appointment. So many drugs, so many nonsensical names, so many LISTS!  If you know anything about actors, of which I used to be one, you know we hate lists.  This guy had turned my knowledge package completely upside down. and he was using a lot of really long words to do it.  My brain literally started to lock up: “Can’t hear you!  Not listening!  You lost me at the first word with more than six syllables!”

Have I ever told you that I hate change? I do.  Change is a very bad thing!  Furniture?  I have it all in an optimum configuration.  It can’t get any better than that, so LEAVE IT ALONE!!

Welcome to my world.

Fortunately, God is very steady, very reliable, and He – this is critical – DOES. NOT.  CHANGE.  EVER!!  God tells me I’m forgiven for all of the stupid, sinful choices I make, and that’s that.  If I dream up a new one and do that too, I’m still covered.  By the blood of the Lamb, Jesus.  God’s Word is His bond, and He’s never gone back on it.  Never!Cross

Being There

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.    John 17:20-21

TV_Teacher_logo_final__2_People have been telling me for years that automation, remote/online classes, and the internet are better than classrooms and live instructors. And even though that’s the way of things now, I still call bullshit on it all.  It isn’t an education.  It’s hoop-jumping to get a certificate to get a job.  Sure; you learn stuff, but a real education is about process and learning how to think!  It’s more than facts and figures.

facebook_twitter_updates_Social media. It can be a useful tool for staying in touch when miles come between you, loved ones, and friends.  It isn’t something I spend a lot of time on, though.  It can be a barrier as much as a communication line; insecurity because someone appears to be cooler or having a better time than you.  We feel anger and frustration that someone seems to be showing off.  We get no body language or tone of voice to tell us the rest of the story.

Nothing replaces being there. I can prove it too.


NOT on the selector list.  *sigh*

I’m factory rep.  Sales.  I have a company car, a company Amex card, and company cell phone.  I’m in the top tier of the rewards program at my chosen hotel chain.  It’s been years since I’ve had to pay for a hotel room on a vacation.  All that is just another way of saying that I don’t get to spend as much time at home as I do out of town.  Why?


No matter how much they bluster and promote online training for employees, companies know that when it really counts, being there is less expensive than losing the sale by remote. It costs a ton of money to keep a sales force on the road. Every time I get on a plane, I guarantee it’ll be $1000 minimum on my expense report that week; hotels, food, rental car, gas for it, and, of course, air fare.


Angioplasty is for sissies

I had bypass surgery in 2003. During recovery I had the overwhelming need to see people in person.  Until I got to every one of my friends to hug them, smile with them, and talk to their faces I couldn’t rest.


That’s why Jesus came to earth as one of us. He’s not a remote God.  He came here to experience a life of perfection in a world of sin.  He wanted, needed to be here to identify with us first-hand.  He needed to be sin for us to redeem us from eternal damnation.  He wants us all to be there with Him for eternity.

He wants a perfect union with and between all of us and the Father; to all be one with Him. He wants to BE.  He wants us to BE.  Here and there.  He wants us all to fill the emptiness of life without Him in oneness with the Father.

Adam and Eve

Nothin’ but love…

I posted What Did They Do? In May.  I was wondering what they must have done in Eden.  No internet.  No music.  No games.  No sporting events.  No books.  No restaurants.  No amusement parks.  It was just them, the animals, and God.  In Eden.  No distractions.  Just a perfect garden, animals to play with, and the unfiltered presence of God to occupy their minds and time.  They filled their time with just…


Being There!

In This Corner

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.    Matthew 5:16Candle Light

I used to keep close track of what’s happening in our government, our politics, and our country. About a year and a half ago we discontinued our cable and only have internet.  Entertainment is Netflix, and news is online.

We were spending too much time and energy over every little thing in the news cycle. I would alternately be upset, worried, angry, or joyful over every turn of events.  It was a waste!  I have better things to do with my time.

I’m still aware of what’s happening in the world and our country, but in a “headlines” sort of way. I know Trump fired Comey from the FBI, and there’s a big stink about that; whether he should have done that earlier or now, whether he did it for the right reasons, etc.  I don’t think any of us can completely know the whole story.  I don’t feel like taking the energy to slog through it.  To what end would I do that?

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys, as I wrote over a year ago.


Too Many to Handle


The country is too big. So is the world.  There’s not much I can do for the whole world.  I’ll tell you what I can do, though.

Pray, for starters. I’ve kept a prayer list for decades.  I pray for all Christians everywhere,Uganda-child-praying-closeup but especially for those who are persecuted.  I pray for all those who fight against evil, whether on the battlefield or in government.  I pray for everyone in the world who does not believe, that God would soften their hearts and give them another chance – or just a first chance – to believe.  I used to wonder if I wasn’t biting off more than I could chew with such large prayers.

God’s shoulders are big enough. He’s the One doing the lifting, whether lifting the dead from the grave, lifting a cross on His back, or lifting us in our times of need.  He’s good at it!

I also pray for very specific people; family, friends, and even people I barely know who have need. Every time I see flashing lights and hear sirens, I pray that the responders and those they are rushing too are protected and made well.

I write this blog, putting out words that I feel compelled to write. I reach the world, believe it or not; India, the UK, Japan, Mauritias, Brazil, Europe, Hong Kong, South Africa, Saudi Arabia, Chile, Viet Nam, and more.

I try to bolster other people. I had lunch with my pastor yesterday, and gave him my “two cents” on something, which ended up being helpful to him.  I try to find opportunities to randomly give strangers sincere compliments.  People are too nasty to each other; I try to take the opposite track.

I don’t think I can directly affect most of what happens in the world. It’s too big.  But…

In this corner…


Not really me…