Meet the Dating Professor

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…   Galatians 5:22

Dating ProfKerry Cronin is a professor of philosophy at Boston College, but she is better known as The Dating Professor. Twelve years ago she offered students a chance for extra credit by asking someone out on a date. There were a couple contingencies: no sex and no alcohol. She found to her surprise that her students hardly followed through.

‘I realized at that point that the social script of dating was really long gone,’ she told the Washington Post, adding that dating has turned into ‘a weirdly counter-cultural thing to do.’  Those words shocked me! Dating has become a counter-cultural thing? She goes on to explain that dating is much more intimate than simply getting drunk and having sex. That’s why dating has “become so taboo.”

Then I had to remind myself of the article I just wrote a few days ago: Off The Rails! That was about how colleges and universities don’t really educate students anymore so much as let them “punch their tickets.” True education is gone, and so is morality as campuses have become a collection of modern Sodoms and Gomorrahs.

Dating is dealing with people on a personal level without alcohol as a protective barrier. Even impersonal sex has gotten to be easier than a meaningful conversation! I think that this is further evidence in a breakdown of social skills altogether that began with cell phones, texting, and email as opposed to actually getting in touch with people.

Dating CouplesToday, she explained, people exist in ‘hypersexualized’ cultures that focus more on getting laid than ‘the foibles and the hard work and the joys and the despair of just casual dating.’  Social media and dating apps have simply made people disposable. Bad date? Ghost them, as the current vernacular goes. Never mind common courtesy or consideration of someone’s feelings, just run away like the cowards we have apparently become.

Come to think of it, I guess that’s why no one so much as gets an acknowledgment or a thank you for applying to a job. Last year I was ghosted by a hiring manager who flew me across the country for a job interview. When I finally got hold of him he told me he thought I might have heard through the grapevine that they’d hired someone else from my company! And to this day, the guy who recruited me in the first place, a former colleague, has not returned one email or phone message.

Part of the dating assignment consist of asking for a date face-to-face. She tells them to stop texting; it is the devil! Furthermore…

‘This is mostly not about meeting your soul mate; it’s mostly about social courage and challenging yourself to be a little countercultural, to do something you know you want to do.”

I would add that it’s also about social skills!

Forget about your electronic cocoon, hiding under the covers of apps and texts. Starting treating people, start treating yourself like a person!

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